6:30 AM … alarm clock goes off. Presses snooze button approximately 4 or 5 times… finally rolls out of bed at 7:10.
I struggle with time management. Please don’t roll your eyes. I’m not proud of it. Pull yourself together!-you might be thinking. Don’t worry, I say that to myself rather frequently. I’ve been a highly-functioning procrastinator for years. I can most times pull off some really great stuff by staying up really late and accomplishing something. And you know, I do have really great intentions of being on time and being super organized.
Time-wise, I typically do quite well with flights and doctor appointments, but the everyday routine things- not so much. I’ve improved with getting the kids out the door for school… yay me. But for some reason Sunday mornings are my biggest struggle. I diddle, I doddle, I multitask. I forget about this and that and then the time gets gobbled up.
Almost every Sunday at 10 to 9 I get the panicky HURRY UP-itis. I get tense and anxious that we’re going to be late, again, and then- to be perfectly honest- I get impatient and angry at myself and I take it out on my girls. “HURRY UP!” “WHY DON’T YOU HAVE YOUR SHOES ON YET? I’ve asked you FIFTY TIMES!!!” “LET’S GET IN THE CAR!” Sometimes, I’m wiping off tears as we enter the church building. Yup. Hypocrite. It’s awful. Sundays should be our most peaceful days and I turn into the Wicked Witch in my own home, with my own children- I am the one to blame.
This morning I showered, got the girls in the bath, got my singing time lesson finished, looked at the clock again, then started getting panicky. Oh no. Breakfast. I popped in some toast and took it to the tub where the girls ate it. My hair was still wet at twenty to. The girls were still in the tub. I felt myself swelling up with anger and frustration about being late. And then I shook my head, took a breath and said to myself, “Today we are going to be late for church. Very late. And it’s going to be ok.”
I washed the girls hair, dried them off and helped them change. I didn’t hurry them up, I didn’t get impatient. I lovingly brushed and braided their hair. I decided to forgo my plans to blow-dry and curl my hair and instead did a quick side braid. I didn’t even have to ask Fay and Eden to get their shoes on. We gathered our things and got out to the car- peacefully.
Yes, sometimes my priorities are really out of whack. Yes, indeed I know that there are many things I can do to prepare the day/night before. Yes, I really should start doing these things. Yes, I’m sure I’ll continue to beat myself up over my lack- but not today. Today I learned a valuable, valuable lesson:
Being on time is not more important than being kind.
Sometimes, it’s really just ok to be late.